How can I get through to my parents regarding my raising my son?

Ok...so, we've all heard of loving but, way too nosey parents...you know the kind...every other phrase is..';well, you know, you shouldnt do that..'; or, ';let him do that..'; or just parents that forget that I am 30 years old and its MY SON...I guess what I am saying is, my parents-though I love them dearly-are grandparents who try to parent my son and, though we dont live close to one another (hours away) when I visit them with my son I have to prepare myself for my parents meddling and critizing my parenting skills!!!!!!!!!!! Im not a child, but they seem to want to treat me like one when it comes to my son,...and, I often have fights with my father when I tell my son ';J...Ive told you NOT to hit the cat...time out!'; and my father comes along and literally has said ';don't listen to your mother and come here..'; and my son goes with my father! Im made to feel and look like an irresponsible bad kid! I cant ever seem to be able to teach him right from wrong when I visit my parents! Help!How can I get through to my parents regarding my raising my son?
You need to let your parents know that you love them dearly, but when you visit with your son, please don't undermine your authority as his parent. When your dad says things like, ';don't listen to your mother'; it's a sure fire way to teach him disrespect for you. He's wrong to do that. If the problem continues, then you may have to cut back on your visits until they understand you're serious about this issue.How can I get through to my parents regarding my raising my son?
Dont feel alone. I get this from my side and my husbands. GRandparents r mean lol. They always undermind us and break the rules. They r grandparents thats what they do they are the fun ones. I think they liek getting us back for the evil things we did as kids maybe. But seriously. I would confront them and tell them how this makes you feel and tell them that if they continue to do it you will limit the visits. Or just tlel them the nxt time it hapens you are just gonna cut the visit short and when they do it pack him up and leave. They will get the hint.
The unsolicited advice can be irritating, but there's probably not a whole lot you can do to stop that. Older relatives have been butting into young parents' business since the beginning of time. Just grin and know that they mean well, then do what you want anyway.





HOWEVER, they should NOT be disregarding your attempts to discipline your son the way they do and make you look like the bad guy. They're taking away a lot of your power as a parent and making your son lose respect for you. You really need to talk about this issue and put a stop to it. While your son is napping or otherwise occupied, take your parents aside and flat-out tell them that, from now on, they must stop undermining you in front of your son. If it continues, it will start to affect the way your son responds to you, both at their home and yours.
Okay, as hard as it may be, stay away for a little while to prove the point you are trying to make. I had to do this...as harsh as it may seem, sometimes ';tough love'; works, and to me, this was a form of that tough love, I am not telling you to keep your parents from your son, but remind them that you won't be visiting until they understand that you have rules and regulations that DO still apply, even when you are at their house.
I had the same problem with my mom. You need to stand firm and say ';This is my child, I will raise him in the manner I see fit. If you cannot respect that we will not be able to visit with you very much.'; I started leaving every single time my mother stepped in. You need to be the authoritive figure in your childs eyes, not your parents. It will hurt every one in the long run if you let this continue, your child will not listen to you, and you will start to dislike visiting your parents. I wish you the best of luck!!
ummmm... tell your parents not to make you look foolish infront of your kid. Because if you cannot stop them from raising (partially) your child, you can at least demand the respect you deserve infront of your children.





I would like you to remember this though: When I was a young boy, and my father wanted to beat me for doing something wrong, my grandfather is the only person who has ever stood up to him and stopped him.
I had this problem with my mom. I simply told her mom. I appreciate your advice but lets do it my way. My mom says its always the grandparents job to let the grandchild off the hook..and spoil them rotten. But they have to cross the line somewhere. You just have to stand up to them, and of course be respectful about it.
Grandma and Grandpa are suppose to spoil the grandkids and let them get away with stuff they wouldn't get away with Mommy and Daddy.


They aren't trying to make you feel bad, they are trying to let your son know that the rules in their house for him isn't as strick as the rules in his house.


If they lived closer it wouldn't be as much of a big deal because he could visit for a little without Mom. So they could spoil him rotten.


Now that I have brought up what they are doing here is what you need to do.


Mom, Dad I know your doing a great job being grandparents. You love our little guy and want to spoil him. It's wonderful that your taking such an interest. The problem is because we live such a great distance when we visit your trying to be grandparents and it makes me feel like an Irresponsible bad kid. Do you think we can work on some ground rules. So you can be great parents and I don't feel like an irresponsible bad kid.


Then try setting some ground rules with them.


Best of Luck.
It will probably come off as rude, but they need to hear it, flat out tell your parents not to contradict you in front of your son, or criticize what you're doing in raising him. Ask them if they liked it when people did the same thing to them, chances are they didn't. Just tell them how you feel.
This one sure is tough because everyone benefits from healthy relationships with grandparents. Maybe a heart to heart with your folks in order, establishing clear boundaries %26amp; expectations during your visits. I know grandparents like to coddle %26amp; seem to contradict our rules %26amp; it's ok to let them be the ';good guy'; occaisionally, but not to the extent you feel you are being undermined.
set boundaries and stick to them. you can't stop your parents from acting the way they do, so accept it and relax.