What are some common ways that parents f*ck up their kids?

I don't mean to the point of unlawful abuse. I mean things like spoiling a child, or being over-protective, or over-controlling, or emotionally abusive, or not spending enough time with them.





Our adult friend has a hardcore neurotic mother and weird family in general, and he still lives at home and it has really affected him badly.What are some common ways that parents f*ck up their kids?
You know, I guess the life rule is that too much of anything is not a good thing. Being over anything is not good thing for a child, but where would we stop. You have parents that do the best they can with what they know. Sometimes it can be too extreem and other times it can be too careless. Life is life and there really isn't a perfect way to raise a child in our society. You just do the best you can and hope and pray for the best. Either way we are gonna be who we are gonna be, regaurdless of how good or horrible our parents are. What you may think is weird to you is perfectly fine to them, I am pretty sure his mother things that everyone else is weird. Thats just how people are. Your normal is not everyone elses normal. I have a friend who things that its ok for her preeteen child to make her own decisions. I see it as wreckless, because of the trouble that it causes. I was raised by over protective parents, and it did a number on me mentally for a long time. You know though, above all thats what makes life and the world go around. It takes different lives and lifestyles to help us make our own choices.What are some common ways that parents f*ck up their kids?
1. Drugs/alcohol while pregnant. This is hands-down, the #1 way that a parent can completely screw her kids for life. Especially alcohol! Children with FAS/FAE will never ';get over it';.





2. Parents that try to be their child's best friend instead of their parent. The boundary lines are blurred, causing all sorts of problems. Think about that mom from Mean Girls. There are parents like that in real life.





3. Parents that enable their children, protect them from the consequences of their actions and otherwise teach them by example that the rules of life don't apply to them. This is the dad that screams at the teacher for giving their kid an ';F';, even if it was richly deserved.





There's a few. Obviously, there are more out there.
Oh gosh! So many ways, and some you've probably never thought of! If you email me, I'll send you my ex-mother-in-law's phone number and she can tell you first hand, not that she'll ever admit she screwed up since she still bails over overgrown putz out of jail repeatedly.





Being an enabler.


Not teaching self responsibility.


Being spiteful and hurtful.


Not loving your child, or showing them love.


Not teaching them values.


Not teaching common and proper manners and etiquette.


Not teaching self respect, self-esteem.


Not teaching respect.


Ignoring your kids emotional needs.


Not being supportive.


Constantly giving in to your kids.


Not allowing or teaching your kids to do for themselves.


Putting your kids down to the point of calling them stupid.


Allowing them to drink excessively, and/or do drugs.


Constantly bailing them out of jail and getting them a lawyer when they were wrong and did something illegal, etc.


Not taking your kids seriously when they're young, and that they are people and have feelings too and should also be treated with respect.


Caring more about a BF/GF than your own child.


Not disciplining your kids and teaching them wrong from right.


Not teaching your kids proper hygiene and how to take care of themselves, eat properly, etc.


Setting a lousy example for your kids.


Not cutting the apron strings.


Trying to live your life thru your children.


Being a control freak.


Being a lazy slob.


And so on...
Here are some things I've seen:





I've seen parents letting their kids stay out without checking in on them, let them curse and act like miniature sluts in public. That will all come back to bite them in the a** when their kids are knocked up at 14 and living off the state for the next 20 years.





I've seen parents buy their underage children kegs for parties. Like age 15 through 18.





Let their kids disrespect classmates and teachers and even principals with no consequence at home.





Work TOO MUCH and not even really know their own kid and then act shocked when the kid displays personality traits they had no knowledge of.





Oh, I've seen parents butt in to little child arguments - and act children themselves- getting huffy and puffy and loud in front of their child while telling other people off. Oh yeah.. and this was a minor *I don't wanna be so and so's friend anymore incident.';





Leaving their children with people they barely know. it's like their freakin begging for pedophiles to take advantage of their children.





basically, I've seen it all.. and a lot of it isn't good.
I think that considering we are responsible for their self esteem, morals, values, ethics etc. and mould them/guide them, then alot of parents don't realise the enormous responsibility involved.





I think that if you are doing what you think is best, then they will turn out just fine. It is the neglectful, abuse and over the time parents that seem to have really problem children.
well my aunt has 4 children


boy 1- her maid


boy 2-her rag doll, she drags him to his room by his arm when he throws a fit, he is though to have bipolar disorder


boy 3- gets screamed at constantly because he doesnt listen,(we think he is hard of hearing)


girl1- is 5 yrs old,orders her brothers around, doesnt listen to anyone or anything, curses bites, etc. gets what she wants when she wants it.


my aunt is a very lazy woman, she has had cps called on her tons of times for not getting off her butt and taking care of her kids, her husband works all day, its summer vacation she just sits home on the couch watching tv having the oldest son wait on her hand and foot, and wait on her other children what ever they need, he has to get... i cant stand the way my aunt treats her kids, i think its sick!
I'd say my ma did it to me by being overly controlling, and completely judgemental of every person on the planet except herself;


Examples? Anyone who has ever had a beer is an alcoholic, and anyone who has ever smoked a cigarette is a drug addict.


Apply this to any person with a crutch, handicap, member of a minority, or just plain anyone who didn't agree with her.





She thinks that i was a terror growing up - But really, i just didn't discriminate.
By being over protective, not letting kids make choices(even if they are bad...how else do we learn?), forcing messed up beliefs on their kids, etc.





There are so many things my folks messed up for me, like my dads racism(thank god mom was not a pig like him), the fact that mom never let me be alone.





There are so mny things I do differently than they did. I hope my kids are't as jacked up as I was.
I think the most common way is setting a poor example for them. Kids are learning as soon as they come out the womb. That do as i say and not as i do, really f*ck kids up, in my opinion. More than parents realize. Also the neglecting of kids, is right up there too.
Being emotionaly abused is a really damaging thing. My dad makes negative comments to me and at me all the time. I think that is why my self esteem is rather low lately.
One way can be spanking because it can warp a child's sexual developement.





SEE: http://nospank.net/sexdngrs.htm
I believe letting your children do whatever they want can mess them up. children need to have boundaries and rules, and morals.
There are a million ways to answer that question but heres my thought 'it's my kid and everyone else got their chance to screw up their kids and now I have my chance to screw up mine! maybe no the best thought but it's a thought